1. WHAT YOU MIGHT BE DOING: Bringing up things kids did previously.
We are all human. We make mistakes. And guess what- nobody likes to have those mistakes brought up, especially in front of their friends or peers. Here are some examples:
Have you had a kid drop a beaker? Next time she comes to pick up lab supplies, don’t say “let’s not drop it again!” because I can promise you she didn’t do it on purpose the first time, and now she won’t want to participate in the lab because she is so worried about breaking something.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Instead, try to not put the student on the spot, but give gentle reminders to the entire class. Using the broken beaker example, when ALL students come to pick up their supplies, keep repeating “Use two hands please” so she gets the reminder without being singled out.
2. WHAT YOU MIGHT BE DOING: Punishing behaviors you want to see.
I know this sounds like something you would never do, but if you think about it, you’ve probably done it. Do you have a student that comes to class tardy almost every day? I have plenty…. and it is super frustrating. Lets say Jesse has a bad habit of coming to class 5 minutes late. You’ve talked to Jesse about it and even called home. Finally Jesse comes to class on time and when he enters you look at him and say “FINALLY!” or “Am I seeing things?” Even if you are joking, these comments will likely make Jesse feel uncomfortable when he should instead be getting positive reinforcement.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Instead, reinforce the behavior with a positive comment like “Hi Jesse, I’m so glad to see you!” or “I really appreciate you making an effort to be here early today.”
3. WHAT YOU MIGHT BE DOING: Being inconsistent with with consequences.
This is the number one thing students will call you out on if you ever do it. For example, you walk by Vanessa who should be on task but is on her phone and you say “Vanessa, please put the phone away.” Then 10 minutes later you see Ricardo on his phone and take it away until the end of the class period. I can promise you, Ricardo isn’t going to give up that phone without an argument if you aren’t being equitable.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Try and do your best to be consistent with your consequences at all times. While there are sometimes exceptions to this rule (IEP accommodations, doctors notes for extra bathroom breaks, etc) try and be conscious of being fair to all students, even the ones that are repeat offenders. And when you do make a mistake and a student yells “that’s not fair!”… own it. They will respect you more when you admit you were in the wrong opposed you answering “life’s not fair” (even if that is what is crossing your mind).
Overall, building positive relationships with your students is key to them learning. As Rita Pierson says, “kids can’t learn from people they don’t like.” So even when you are having a bad day and you want to crawl under your desk and cry (I’ve been there), try your best to take a deep breath and build the kids up, not down.